C once told me off for using the "C" word. Being told off by a 7 year old is quite a humbling experience but I think it was unwarranted in this case so we had a discussion about the word "Crap" (what did you think I said?) My argument is that "Crap" is not a rude word since the modern toilet was invented by Mr Thomas Crapper and the word has been adapted from his name. So I defend the title of this post as completely decent.
It was Banana Split night at Dennys with R on Wednesday. The car park has been pretty full recently but on this occasion we were fortunate enough to get a space a little closer than that time a few weeks ago when I attempted to park in three different spaces, couldn't fit, got cross, parked on the road for a second before swooping in on an empty space under at the far corner of the car park with R getting out of the car to ensure I didn't scratch the Audi in the space next door. So on Wednesday, I was quite pleased with my maneuverability skills in getting Beloved's car (which I'd borrowed) into a nice position under a tree.
One-and-a-half banana splits later we returned to go home. When we got in the car we thought we heard rain on the roof and didn't really think much more about it and went home. Then the morning came. I was taking the rubbish bags out to the gate and saw something very similar to this:
|Reinactment - not actually Beloved's actual car|
|Birds really are quite evil, aren't they?|
He took one look at my face: "What have you done?"
HOW does he DO that? "What? Nothing? Why?"
"You look guilty!"
"You've done SOMEthing!"
He kissed me goodbye and headed out the door to work. I held my breath.
"Oh, you've washed all the bird sh&* off the car! When did you do that?"
He knew!!! He'd been out earlier in the day to pick up the daily paper.
There was only one way out of this situation. Blame him! "Well it's YOUR fault!"
"How is it MY fault?"
"Because YOU should have TOLD me that you KNEW so that I wouldn't have to wash YOUR car before YOU found it!"
I've given this some thought, and have decided that birds really should learn a few good manners. All I know is that after I go to bed, I manage to get through the night without continual crapping. But because the birds at Denny's are bird-brains, I think the local council should fit arrange for all of them to be fitted with these: